April 26, 2008 at 7:37 pm (Planning for the Future)

I’d like some honest opinions.

Here’s the thing. When I put in my applications for grad school, my old boss neglected to fill out one of the forms, which was a check-list. I got wind of this through the applications office at Villanova, and took care of it. She had already written the recommendation (took her weeks, though – I asked her in late february, she finished it by March 26th), but I let her know that my app was incomplete, and all I needed her to do was to finish the paperwork. It was the same stuff that she wrote about in her recommendation.

She got a stick up her butt, and asked me how she could, in good mind, fill that out, because it asked for an academic evaluation, and that she was not a teacher.

I convinced her to do it. I get it back; and even though her written recommendation was absolutely glowing, she made it seem as though I barely registered as an employee. In categories ranging from “N/A”, “Bottom 50%”, “Top 50%”, “Top 25%”, “Top 10%” “Top 5%”, she put me in the “top 50%”.

And she was irritated about having to do it.

Flash forward a couple of weeks. I’ve put in the apps, I’ve been applying for other jobs as well. I have her listed as a reference. I know for a fact that the HarperCollins folk have checked my references; it’s going on three weeks since I had the interview. I also applied for a job at a local Apple store that wasn’t the one I worked at. I had talked with them about switching there, and moving away from Palisades. They said they’d call me two days ago; haven’t heard back from them since.

While I was working there, I thought i got along with her. I was always nice, tried to do exactly what she wanted almost before she could think of it, and was basically a good employee. I wanted to leave on good terms.

Could it be possible that she torpedoed me, or am I just thinking about this too much?

Once again, honest opinions.




  1. Cait said,

    Honestly, I’m not sure what I’d think about that. Women are not exactly easy to understand, regardless of the situation. A lot of them are nice one moment and turn into something vindictive in the next second. I don’t really get it. Perhaps it’s a case of her losing a good employee and not being a good sport about it at all? Perhaps the other employees and work has suffered since you left – thus the realization that you did go above and beyond has left her with a pathetic pack of workers and more stress?

    No clue.

    I suppose if she’s somewhat turned on you in that sense, you shouldn’t use her as a reference. Just state that she was your boss and if they wish to contact her, they will.


    Wish I could be of more help.

  2. Big Bear Butt said,

    I will second Cait on not using her as a reference in the future. Perhaps it’s as simple as her feeling resentful that a former employee is now wasting her precious time after no longer being an asset to HER.

    You are now gone, and she doesn’t want to have to ever have to see your name again? Let laone ‘waste her time’.

    I have heard some managers I work around talk and I sometimes do hear that kind of self-important commentary from these oh-so-special overworked managers. You never know.

    So a good rule of thumb – if you suspect she is the kind of person that may not be pleased and happy to help you continue to grow and advance in your career, if you feel she would not be delighted in seeing you find success in your life…

    Drop them from your references immediately.

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